Thank You, Captain Obvious

Some highlights from yesterday at the clinic:

--14 year old kid complaining of headaches.  No other symptoms, absolutely nothing else apparently wrong with him.  Aleve seems to help.  

Me: "I see you failed your vision screen, do you have glasses?"  

Kid: "Yes." 

Me: "Do you wear them?"  

Kid: "No."  

Me: "Well, I think I might have figured out your problem..."

--9 year old who weighs 30 pounds more than I do comes in complaining of allergies.  

Me: "Is she currently on any allergy medication?"  

Mom: "Yes, she takes Allegra."  

Doctor: "Does she take it regularly?"  

Mom: *looks at kid*   

Kid:  *shrugs*   

Doctor:  "Did you take it today?"  

Kid: *nods*  

Doctor:  "Did you take it yesterday?"  

Kid: *shrugs*  

Doctor:  "Did you take it Saturday?"  

Kid: *shrugs*  

Me: "Well, I think I might have figured out the problem here..."

--10 year old in for labs and a weight check, as well as exercise and diet counseling (as kid is severely overweight).  

Me: "One of the easiest things you can do is just not keep junk food in the house.  Having healthy snacks on hand for when she gets hungry is the best option; then she won't want to binge on candy later."  

Mom: "Well I give her like a bag of carrots and some fat free ranch to snack on, and she'll just eat the whole bag!"  

Me:" Ok, well it might help to have some individual portions set aside in baggies so that she knows what a good portion is.  Or maybe you could do something like give her an apple for an afternoon snack so that once she's done, she's done."  

Mom: "But fruit has more sugar than candy!"  

Me:  *bangs head on table*  

But the real kicker here was that after the nurses drew blood and we discussed all of the different things she could do and work on to lose weight, Mom, Kid, and Sibling marched out the door as I walked down the hall to return to the charting area, and behind me I overheard mom saying, "Ok, let's go to McDonald's!"  *weeps*