Decisions, Decisions

I just got done spending two weeks on the endocrinology service. I saw some interesting patients with strange things happening to their thyroids and pituitaries and adrenals, but mostly we just saw diabetic after diabetic after diabetic, most of whom did not understand their medications and took up oodles of time with us trying to explain how to get their insulin correct--most of it very futile seeming. During these two weeks, I saw one patient that got me truly excited: an 18 year old who was transitioning to the adult endocrinology clinic from pediatrics, whose parents were exasperated and shocked by the lack of support to be found both in the transition and on the adult side of things compared to peds. The kid had a fairly rare tumor as a child for which s/he received radiation which basically destroyed his/her ability to make hormones. SO. COOL. (Not for the kid, obviously, but for me to learn and think about.)

Also last week we had a career exploration meeting with one of our deans, at which we could meet with the program directors of various residency programs within our own institution and get information about different specialties. I attended the peds info session, met the program director, and found out tons of amazing information from people who were open and welcoming and helpful.

This week I am working as a "career exploration elective" in the neonatal intensive care unit. This morning I didn't do anything but round with the team and it was glorious. Adorable babies, interesting diseases, happy and friendly and welcoming folks who were interested in teaching and are letting me actually see a patient tomorrow. When I walked into the children's hospital this morning, I felt comfortable, prepared, and at home.

In all the craziness about med-peds, it has come down to this realization, more than anything. Whenever I am around pediatricians and talking about pediatric subjects or patients, I am happy. More than happy, really. I feel more and more that it's where I'm meant to be. Having doing endocrine, I just don't think I could deal with patient after patient coming through my doors each day with the same kinds of chronic diseases that aren't being cared for and sometimes aren't even worth advocating for. When discussing program requirements with various directors at the meeting the other day, I realized that if I were to go with med-peds, rotations in the ICU were something I was already dreading, something to be gotten through and survived--while at our meeting with the peds directors, I was trying to get information about how I could set up a rotation this summer in the peds ICU and was SO. EXCITED.

Ladies and gentleman, with the caveat that I must get to my peds rotation in January and make sure.....

I'm going to be a pediatrician. :-)